Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Another Paper I Think Is Good

And yes, I want opinions!!!

Side note: The person referenced (Mr. Personality) was a probelm student this semester. He was one of those blurting-out, disrespectful, just plain annoying people. He claimed Dr. Jaffe taught with a liberal agenda and this displeased him - - any more questions? He was finally removed from the class a month ago and now Dr. Jaffe remarks about him as Mr. Personality or Mr. Godzilla or other names like that. It's actually quite funny. So there's some back story.

The paper is a "What If?" paper. We have to retell history as if it happened a different way. Fun stuff. You'll be able to tell what I wrote about. . . So, without further ado:

10. . . . 9. . . . 8. . . .
It was December 31, 1999 and everyone in Times Square was metaphorically sitting on pins and needles. There were those who were partying, as usual, but a vast majority of the people in New York City’s famed city block were nervously awaiting the finale of the waning seconds of the past calendar year.
7. . . . 6. . . .
Down the Atlantic Coast, in Washington D.C., President Bill Clinton sat anxiously at his desk in the Oval Office. He also was greatly concerned with how the next few seconds would play out. He had yet to hear from his political leader friends across the globe about how the Y2K problem had affected them. He wasn’t sure if that was because they were partying or because they were panicking. He had heard that news broadcasts of other countries ringing in the New Year had been suspended for fear of glitches. There was no way to know what would happen. Monica Lewinsky walked into the Oval Office wearing only those “2000” glasses and a tiara. Not even that could calm this powerful man down.
5. . . . 4. . . . 3. . . .
In Los Angeles, millions watched their televisions closely, hoping to still see Dick Clark after the clock struck midnight. The famed ball was dropping in Times Square and was getting ever-closer to the bottom. “Will it explode?” some asked, quite frightened about the near future. Hollywood’s heartthrobs were pacing back and forth in their respective million dollar mansions. Their concern was that all of their grinning and crying (depending on the role) would end up being meaningless when the calendar switched over.
2. . . . 1. . . .
The moment had finally come. There was nothing more that could be done to prepare for the fallout that could occur. Basements holding hundreds of gallons of water and hundreds of boxes of Top Ramen were also occupied by worried families. Life, as they knew it, would soon be changing. “The end of the world,” some suggested, “is upon us”. They really had no idea.
HAPPY NEW. . . Zap! Welcome to Y2K.
As the clocks hit 12:00 on that fateful night, chaos ensued over the entire country. As each time zone crossed over into the New Year, more problems occurred than could have ever been anticipated. In New York, the ball-dropping in Times Square was concluded with a giant explosion. These were not fireworks, though. The ball blew up when it finished its descent, sending glass and shrapnel across the crowd. Famed commentator Dick Clark was struck with some of the glass, later causing his plastic surgeons to add even more Botox to his already near-fake face. The explosion was later discovered to be the work of a suicide bomber looking to cause widespread panic and not a technical glitch. This man’s plan worked as planned, as Times Square turned into Terror Square. Panic swept the city blocks and many were killed in the stampede out of the small area.
The United States of America was completely changed after the calendar read 2000. The infamous Y2K bug had quite an effect on computers. Bank accounts across the country were compromised. For some, so they would find out later, it was actually beneficial. What occurred was not a complete wipeout of funds, but a transfer effect, later referred to as “The Great Switch”. Some members of the rich community became poor in a matter of seconds. The interesting thing, however, was that no one knew of this problem until much later, as the accounts were inaccessible for weeks. By that time, there was no way for bank associates to figure out where individual’s funds went. For many people, their multiple years of work were now for nothing.
One such story that actually was heartwarming was that of a History professor at a small community college in California (Editor’s Note: In no way is the following account an attempt at great accolades or recognition. I just find the story redeeming in so many ways). One Matthew Lee Jaffe, a hard-working, scarcely-sleeping professor of Antelope Valley College, received just over two million dollars after the Y2K disaster. The funds of another man, only referenced throughout history as Mr. Personality, were completely transferred to the account of Dr. Jaffe. When the famed conspiracy theorist (Mr. Personality) discovered he had lost his inheritance money, (he had in no way earned the ridiculous amount of money) he pleaded his case before not only the courts, but the Dean of Admissions at Antelope Valley College. He lost both cases (this was not a nice individual) and was also removed from Dr. Jaffe’s class. Justice, in this case, was served.
On a grand scale, the country had to deal with more than just computer glitches and account transfers; however most of the problems that arose were because of the trouble with computers. Convenience was all of a sudden something that was near impossible to have. Companies could no longer just fill out work schedules, timecards, and earnings reports on a computer. Everything had to be done by hand. Confusion abounded at most restaurants that normally relied on computer stations to ring in food orders. Handheld calculators quickly became a hot item for fast food drive thru attendants and grocery store clerks as their computers were all down for several months. Needless to say, pen and paper companies saw a boost in their sales over the two-month-long period at the beginning of 2000.
A careful reader would notice the mentioning of a “several month long period” during which the computers were down or the chaos ensued. This must mean that everything was resolved. You, careful reader, are correct. President Clinton hired millionaires (although only two were still such – Gates had lost most of his money, which was later discovered to have been distributed equally to the entire population of Topeka, Kansas) Steve Forbes, Bill Gates, and Steve Jobs to discover what could be done to fix all of the nation’s problems. Forbes, a Presidential hopeful for the election of 2000, ran the campaign against chaos, which was entitled “Operation Oops-Fixer” by Clinton. Gates and Jobs, presidents of the computer companies Microsoft and Apple respectively, assisted Forbes in what ended up being a very successful operation. Forbes discovered that the only possible solution was to recreate the computer. With the help of Gates and Jobs, and the funding from the United States government, (which had lost only about 1/128 of its funds in the crisis; investigators believe that Florida residents received the bulk of this fraction of the government’s surplus) Forbes created the new computer, which would be in every American household by 2002. Not only did this kick-start the economy back to a beneficial place, it made Steve Forbes a national hero. Running in the Republican primary, Forbes outlasted Texas Governor George W. Bush and defeated former Vice President Al Gore to gain the Presidency in November 2000. A business-first President, Forbes, along with Vice President Alan Keyes, created a brand new United States. Within the first two years of his Presidency, Forbes created the United States’ largest surplus in the nation’s history. Always enjoying an almost unanimous approval rating, Forbes ended up cruising to re-election in 2004.
The Y2K problem certainly caused some issues in the few months following the calendar-turning event. The chaos, which was most certainly aided by the media’s efforts prior to the event, was widespread and the panic was the first of its kind since the Great Depression in the 1930s. It was only by the efforts of the nation’s smartest, most capable minds (entrepreneurs have always been critical to the country’s success; read: Rockefeller, Carnegie) of the time that the United States was able to pull through and regain its spot as the only world superpower.
Lord only knows what is going to happen when Y3K comes around. . .


Sunday, April 16, 2006

The Spring Break Grab-Bag

Alright, what I can promise you (yes, promise) is that once school is done (May 4th is my last day!) I will be blogging much more frequently. What I can also promise is that until then, blogs will be scarce. I have so much work to catch up on and complete over the next three weeks. As it was, I spent a majority of my Spring Break doing homework. But you'll see that. . .

- So I entered the week with a total of five papers due by the end of the semester. I had a plan of finishing three of them over the Break. I got two done (I consider that a semi-accomplishment). Tomorrow the third one will be finished, so that kinda means I did a good job. School's almost done! I can't wait for the summer!

- I bought THE DA VINCI CODE in paperback. I wanted to see what all the hubbub is about. Let me put it this way: I'm already almost 200 pages in! That's how quick of a read it is! It's really entertaining and it is one of those "can't-put-it-down" books. Good stuff.

- Heather was able to come home a couple of days this week which was absolutely awesome! We took Chary out to dinner at FAMOUS DAVE'S on Monday for her birthday (which was Sunday). That was fun. Heather and I got to hang out, watch movies, play Darts, and just have a great time in the moments that we got to spend together over the week. I'm so grateful for my wonderful Heather!

- I've been working the usual amount at JOHNNY CARINO'S. If you remember, I told you that I'm now only a TT. My schedule appears to be (I say appears to be because it has been the same the last two weeks, and I'm anticipating it staying the same) Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. This is good for me. It will give me 25 hours a week and a nice bit of tips each week. I certainly can't complain. Also, there is an opening of a new JC in Downey in June and both Chelsea and I have inquired about being apart of it. During the opening, you work like 12 hour days for 6 days a week, but you get major bank! Here's hoping. . .

- I guess this brings me to the highlight of my Spring Break. Today, Easter Sunday, my dad and I went to the Staples Center to watch our PHOENIX SUNS take on the LOS ANGELES LAKERS. What's better than that? Our seats! We were two (count them) two rows behind the SUNS bench!!! Besides the excitement of the game, our seats, and the atmosphere, we also saw quite a few famous people. Here is the list of people I saw either really close or from a little distance: Paris Hilton (she got booed when put up on the Jumbotron!), Phil Ivey (professional Poker player), J.A. Adande (L.A. Times sportswriter and frequent contestant on ESPN'S Around the Horn), Penny Marshall (director of A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN), the commentators at the game (including Hubie Brown, Peter Vecsey, and former Chicago Bulls center Will Perdue, who I yelled his name and he looked at me and smiled cuz I recognizd him!), and of course, Jack Nicholson. Jack sat in his usual courtside seats, which were literally less than fifteen feet from ours. When he entered, he was less than three feet from us at one point. No joke! I'll post pictures of all this later on this week. I haven't quite gotten them up on my computer just yet. The game was a bit of a disappointment, even though it was SO EXCITING just being there. Our SUNS, who played without injured Steve Nash (who, during one time-out, noticed me in my Nash jersey and acknowledged me with a smile - I kinda shrugged and put my hands out questioningly (he is resting a thigh injury) and he kinda did the same thing - awesome three and a half seconds!) and Raja Bell, played pretty bad and lost 109-89. We got to watch Kobe play, though, and as much as I hate him, he certainly can put the ball in the hole. We really had a great time! Thanks Mr. Brooks!!!

So, yeah, I'll post those pictures in a couple days. And that, my friends, I promise!

Thanks for catching up with me - it's been fun!

- - - "You don't get better with age! You're not a Merlot!"
- - - Obnoxious Laker fan yelling at the injured players on the SUNS bench. Idiot.



Wednesday, April 05, 2006

This Is True, However. .

Alright, so some would say (and I would partially agree) that I'm just a bad blogger.

However. .

My excuses (yes, excuses) are bountiful, though. It's been a week and a half since my last real blog, and just about a week (8 days) since my last post. I'm sorry. Last week I worked 35 hours at JOHNNY CARINO'S, including an all-day (not all-fun) affair on Saturday (April Fools Day). Here's a quick (very very quick) recap of my recent past (there's no order, no paragraphs, no reason to this except to catch up with out actually catching up):

- I'm a certified HOST Trainer now at JC, however. .
- My schedule next week has only TT days on it (nice!)

- Seeing Heather every Monday is spectacular, however. .
- It's not nearly enough time and saying goodbye sucks

- I finished and turned in my ASTRONOMY paper this week, however. .
- I have a paper of some sort due for every one of my classes (two in HISTORY) before the semester ends

- I've seen several movies over the past couple weeks - INSIDE MAN (Grade: C+), MILLIONS (Grade: B-). I've also purchased a few DVD's as well (KING KONG, MR. AND MRS. SMITH, WAR OF THE WORLDS), however. .
- I still haven't seen THANK YOU FOR SMOKING (and I really really want to!!!)

- The Desert Christian High School Drama performance of BYE BYE BIRDIE was good, however. .
- It wasn't quite as good as TWELFTH NIGHT or MY FAIR LADY (those were done a few years back, if you know what I mean!)

- Amare Stoudemire returned for three games for my beloved PHOENIX SUNS, however. .
- He over-compensated on his good knee and is now done for the year!

- I'm looking forward to a week off of school next week, however. .
- I'd be just as happy if I got out a week earlier without a Spring Break (woohoo! - FRIENDS allusion, by the by)

- I miss spending time with my family, however. .
- I think they miss me more

- I don't see my good friends nearly enough, however. .
- This time apart makes me appreciate our hang-out nights all the more

- I haven't played Poker in too long, however. .
- I could still beat you!

- The NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament was one of the most exciting events of the year (maybe one of the most exciting tournaments I've ever seen), however. .
- My four year win streak is over

- This weather in the Antelope Valley the last few weeks has just been crazy, however. .
- Nope that's it. The weather's crazy!!!

- I would really like to continue this here blog, however. .
- It's 0100 and I have class in the morning

Thanks folks for sticking with me. You will probably have a cardiac arrest when you see a new post, so I hope that you can finish reading it before the ambulance gets to you! . . That's ok to say, right???

Either way, I'm going to bed. Goodnight everyone!!!