Wednesday, March 05, 2008

The Just Plain Funny (and the Awesome!)

In the wake of another downer of a post (Monday's Return of the Ass of the Week) I figured I would bring you a series of pictures, links, videos, and other fun multimedia forms to make you either smile, laugh, or both! I do hope you enjoy, because I did, and that's the only reason that I would put them out there in front of you. . .

The Just Plain Funny

- Jack Nicholson is in favor of Hillary Clinton? The tape doesn't lie. . .

- This little girl is the cutest and thinks that STAR WARS is actually pretty simple to understand. Just watch it. And just remember: Darth Vader will getcha!

- Although it has been said that it was an accident (not by Kobe himself, but by analysts of the following clip), I still think this video is hilarious because it contributes to the theory that Kobe Bryant is one of the biggest (fill in the blank) in the NBA.

- This summer is going to be one of the best summers for comedies ever (which I will preview by the end of April)! Among the titles vying for best of the best are PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (Seth Rogen and James Franco), FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL (Judd Apatow-produced), ZACH AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO (new Kevin Smith film), STEP BROTHERS (Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly) and one that I will highlight right now, TROPIC THUNDER, which stars Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr, who plays, wait for it, an actor trying to earn himself the accolades of moviegoers by playing a black man. Don't believe me:

O YES!!!!! I can't wait for this summer!!!

- Don't say white guys can't play defense. Thanks Kyle Korver! (Photo Credit: David Sherman/NBAE/Getty Images)

The Awesome

- My all-time favorite basketball player is running for mayor of Sacramento. I have Kevin Johnson's jersey hanging up in my room. I acted as him many a day in the hallway of our old house in Lancaster as I performed entire SUNS games. And he is an incredibly upstanding, go-get-em type guy that I hope has a long future in the world of politics, because I think he can change things for the good (he is hoping to bring some light to the ghetto-type areas of our state's capital). Go get em KJ! And it also gives me a chance to show this video again. . . Eat it Hakeem!

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I'll be back soon with another fun post like this. I like doing them because it brings what I find on the internet to you! Hope you enjoyed at least one of these things!!!

Until later,

Sunday, March 02, 2008

The Return of the Ass of the Week

Well welcome to you all!

I've had three tests in the last seven days and now I sit at my computer watching Deal or No Deal of all things (I swear it's because of the contestant!) and I figured that I would take the time and put together a column that I have been pondering for some time now. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the grand return of the "Ass of the Week," although since it has been a month (almost exactly - I last did one of these on 02/02) between these posts, this could technically be considered the "Ass of the Month." But I'm not doing that. This is instead "The Return of the Ass of the Week" as the title says. But I do have to mention, in the words of the wise Randal Graves, "There is only one Return, and that's of the Jedi." But I'm sure he'd be ok with me just snagging the title for a brief moment. . . I hope.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think about this one. Thanks!

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The group of people that I will chewing out this week usually have their fair share of haters amongst the crowd. But that doesn't mean that I can just let them do their thing without getting a bit of lip. Or a tongue-lashing. Or something like that. . .

This week's winner of this now prestigious award are the too-rich bigwigs out there who make decisions about the lives of those so far below them with no regard for their hopes, dreams, or desires. Call it a broad generalization, but nonetheless, it's a rousing victory for the cronies. . .

I actually have two reasons to how I came to this conclusion this week. The first has to do with something that I read through Roger Ebert's website and a blog done by Jim Emerson, a guy who helps out Mr. Ebert occasionally. In the blog, Emerson discusses how Glen Hansard, part of the duo that wrote and starred in the film ONCE, has claimed that the company that created the cover for the film's DVD release has screwed with his original intention. And upon further review, he could not be more right on:

I don't know if you can see it there, but the picture on the left is the original poster, which also appears on the cover of the Original Soundtrack. The picture on the right is what is on the DVD cover. Some of the things that Hansard points out in the interview is that they are shown holding hands on the DVD cover, which is an action that the characters never do during the film. Furthermore, the cover is substantially brighter (not a huge deal, but still important nonetheless) than the originally intended poster (designed by Hansard himself) and the other half of the duo, Marketa Irglova, has been made taller to put her closer to the height of Hansard. The guitar they are waking on is made more prevalent and Hansard was put in a bit more trendy clothing, also stretching the true nature of the film.

Now to me this is a big deal. What's the point of all of this? Is it to sell more DVDs? This is clearly rhetorical -- I guess what frustrates me about this particular instance is that people WILL in fact fall for the illusion that the marketers have created for ONCE. People searching for a romantic comedy will find one in ONCE (apparently). This could not be further from the truth. It's an at-times heart-breaking, but ultimately inspiring drama that feature powerfully moving performances, beautiful music, and (spoiler alert) a potentially sad ending (for some). Not the bright, shining, hand-holding imagery that they want you to envision when picking up the DVD. As Hansard mentioned in his acceptance speech at the Oscars, they made this film for $100,000 (although the production budget is said to be $150,000 - either way, it was really cheap to make) and as of right now ONCE has brought in nearly $17 million combined between the domestic and international box office. You think they've already made enough money. . .

I'm gonna go with yes.

Here's a second idea for you if that is not enough for you to agree with me (which is always possible). . . And this one actually hurt more.

You see, I found out on Friday that because of the lack of business we are doing at the MW that one of our tailors was going to be let go on SATURDAY. The next day! We didn't find out until the day before. Just crazy. Look, I know it's a part of business - I get that. But why does a guy like Sam, one of the sweetest old men you could ever meet, have to lose a job so that other higher-ups can keep theirs. That's right, Sam, the guy whose wife just underwent a bunch of chemotherapy for cancer and uses his skills as a tailor to earn medical benefits for his sick wife and his son who has Downs Syndrome, has to be let go instead of maybe cutting back on both tailors' hours. And of course the whole "letting go" thing - yeah, that's just a slang term for "Thank you. Now get the hell out." It was so sad. We went and got him a cake that said "Thank You Sam" on it and when we took it back to him, Sam, who somewhat resembles Gepetto from "Pinocchio" but without the mustache or hair on top of his head (so really, he looks nothing like Gepetoo. . .) began crying and telling us that we were like family to him. It was truly heart-breaking. But hey, at least George Zimmer can maintain his billion dollar business. . . (and not that it was Mr. Zimmer's decision - I have actually gotten to meet him and he is seemingly a very caring individual - but it was his underlings who went through with the releasing of hard, honest workers).

It's just wrong. It goes along with the fact that gas here in the Antelope Valley is now at $3.50, which is just ridiculous, and the companies that distribute the gasoline were posting record returns last time I checked. There is just too much of a difference between those lofty big-wigs that get to roll around beyond comfortably and those who work harder than anyone and have to scrape by uncomfortably.

So why is it my goal in life to become one of the former??

Well, I guess that's for another day. . .

Hope you enjoyed my ramblings and all tonight. Have a fantastic week and love each other always!

Until later,