The Return of the Ass of the Week

Well welcome to you all!

I've had three tests in the last seven days and now I sit at my computer watching Deal or No Deal of all things (I swear it's because of the contestant!) and I figured that I would take the time and put together a column that I have been pondering for some time now. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the grand return of the "Ass of the Week," although since it has been a month (almost exactly - I last did one of these on 02/02) between these posts, this could technically be considered the "Ass of the Month." But I'm not doing that. This is instead "The Return of the Ass of the Week" as the title says. But I do have to mention, in the words of the wise Randal Graves, "There is only one Return, and that's of the Jedi." But I'm sure he'd be ok with me just snagging the title for a brief moment. . . I hope.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think about this one. Thanks!

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The group of people that I will chewing out this week usually have their fair share of haters amongst the crowd. But that doesn't mean that I can just let them do their thing without getting a bit of lip. Or a tongue-lashing. Or something like that. . .

This week's winner of this now prestigious award are the too-rich bigwigs out there who make decisions about the lives of those so far below them with no regard for their hopes, dreams, or desires. Call it a broad generalization, but nonetheless, it's a rousing victory for the cronies. . .

I actually have two reasons to how I came to this conclusion this week. The first has to do with something that I read through Roger Ebert's website and a blog done by Jim Emerson, a guy who helps out Mr. Ebert occasionally. In the blog, Emerson discusses how Glen Hansard, part of the duo that wrote and starred in the film ONCE, has claimed that the company that created the cover for the film's DVD release has screwed with his original intention. And upon further review, he could not be more right on:




I don't know if you can see it there, but the picture on the left is the original poster, which also appears on the cover of the Original Soundtrack. The picture on the right is what is on the DVD cover. Some of the things that Hansard points out in the interview is that they are shown holding hands on the DVD cover, which is an action that the characters never do during the film. Furthermore, the cover is substantially brighter (not a huge deal, but still important nonetheless) than the originally intended poster (designed by Hansard himself) and the other half of the duo, Marketa Irglova, has been made taller to put her closer to the height of Hansard. The guitar they are waking on is made more prevalent and Hansard was put in a bit more trendy clothing, also stretching the true nature of the film.

Now to me this is a big deal. What's the point of all of this? Is it to sell more DVDs? This is clearly rhetorical -- I guess what frustrates me about this particular instance is that people WILL in fact fall for the illusion that the marketers have created for ONCE. People searching for a romantic comedy will find one in ONCE (apparently). This could not be further from the truth. It's an at-times heart-breaking, but ultimately inspiring drama that feature powerfully moving performances, beautiful music, and (spoiler alert) a potentially sad ending (for some). Not the bright, shining, hand-holding imagery that they want you to envision when picking up the DVD. As Hansard mentioned in his acceptance speech at the Oscars, they made this film for $100,000 (although the production budget is said to be $150,000 - either way, it was really cheap to make) and as of right now ONCE has brought in nearly $17 million combined between the domestic and international box office. You think they've already made enough money. . .

I'm gonna go with yes.

Here's a second idea for you if that is not enough for you to agree with me (which is always possible). . . And this one actually hurt more.

You see, I found out on Friday that because of the lack of business we are doing at the MW that one of our tailors was going to be let go on SATURDAY. The next day! We didn't find out until the day before. Just crazy. Look, I know it's a part of business - I get that. But why does a guy like Sam, one of the sweetest old men you could ever meet, have to lose a job so that other higher-ups can keep theirs. That's right, Sam, the guy whose wife just underwent a bunch of chemotherapy for cancer and uses his skills as a tailor to earn medical benefits for his sick wife and his son who has Downs Syndrome, has to be let go instead of maybe cutting back on both tailors' hours. And of course the whole "letting go" thing - yeah, that's just a slang term for "Thank you. Now get the hell out." It was so sad. We went and got him a cake that said "Thank You Sam" on it and when we took it back to him, Sam, who somewhat resembles Gepetto from "Pinocchio" but without the mustache or hair on top of his head (so really, he looks nothing like Gepetoo. . .) began crying and telling us that we were like family to him. It was truly heart-breaking. But hey, at least George Zimmer can maintain his billion dollar business. . . (and not that it was Mr. Zimmer's decision - I have actually gotten to meet him and he is seemingly a very caring individual - but it was his underlings who went through with the releasing of hard, honest workers).

It's just wrong. It goes along with the fact that gas here in the Antelope Valley is now at $3.50, which is just ridiculous, and the companies that distribute the gasoline were posting record returns last time I checked. There is just too much of a difference between those lofty big-wigs that get to roll around beyond comfortably and those who work harder than anyone and have to scrape by uncomfortably.

So why is it my goal in life to become one of the former??

Well, I guess that's for another day. . .

Hope you enjoyed my ramblings and all tonight. Have a fantastic week and love each other always!

Until later,

Ass of the Week 2

Well, here we are again. It's Saturday and it's time again for my brand new column (how long is something new, by the way?) entitled the "Ass of the Week." Last week's edition saw me rip John Gibson of Fox News fame a new one, but it's not like more people hadn't already done so. That was a little bit obvious, I would say. But beyond that, it was really enjoyable to do (it's always nice to go off on someone you not only don't know but don't like based on their just plain awful actions) and I got some cool feedback from people I had no idea even read this thing. So I must continue on with the idea, seeing that it is, as previously mentioned, Saturday once more.

This week's was a little bit more difficult to come up with, to be honest. And I probably would have just searched the news archives on any news-gathering website for some ignorant individual who mouthed off this week had I not experienced something tonight that was not only life-changing for some and thought-provoking for all, but frustratingly upsetting for me. . .

So here we go:

This week's "Ass of the Week" is whoever is responsible for this group to feel any pain:



And especially the kind of pain that I learned about this evening. Starting this past Wednesday at the Desert Vineyard Christian Fellowship in Lancaster (it's the church that my parents attend weekly and when I actually go, it's where I go as well) and going through this coming Monday, WORLD VISION's "Step Into Africa" Experience brought the tragedy of AIDS to the forefront of the thoughts of Southern Californians. The way it works is that you are outfitted with small iPod (Heather and I debated whether or not this "personal audio device" was of the Shuffle or Nano variety) and a set of headphones where an African woman narrates a story to you about a child affected in some way by AIDS. The story is told as if you are the child and are walking in their footsteps, which you do, in a way, as you enter little rooms decorated to look like the homes and surroundings of these native Africans.

And it's heartbreaking. The mere thought of the powerlessness that we do have (because even if we do the whole "Support a Child" thing, there are millions who die every year that cannot be helped) is almost more frustrating than the stupid teenagers who were acting as they are defined (they were the runners-up this week - these kids were distracting, annoying, and just plain rude, which is really not cool when it comes to something so potentially impacting, like this event).

And as Heather and I headed back to our warm place of shelter for the evening (in this case, my house) in my comfortable new car, we discussed the things we had just heard, seen, and experienced. Heather was more affected like my sister and mom were (both were able to take part earlier this week) in that they were saddened to the point of tears, for which the World Vision people are perfectly prepared for, thanks to the Kleenex boxes lining the wall under the pictures of the hundreds of hungry children. And yes, it is sad. Devastatingly so, in fact. But for me, the response I had was of pure anger.

Heather made an interesting comment on the way home. She said "It's just the cards that they were dealt." And she could not be more right. These kids (and their parents, for that matter - and their parent's parents, and so on) have been dealt the shittiest of shit hands (think worse than seven-deuce off-suit). So my problem is a) Why them? and b) Why at all?

I understand the world is a fallen and sin-filled place. That's what I'm told and it's clear that there is plenty of evil running around the world today. But the thought of kids like this:



getting intentionally dealt hands of a life filled with AIDS-stricken homes; hunger-filled days upon days; a complete lack of safety (the girl whose story I heard had to hide in fear since another young girl about the age of 10 had been kidnapped and subsequently raped every day for an entire month!); and eventually a death that if not physically painful, is certainly emotionally dreadful, just plain pisses me off. It's true that not nearly enough effort can go to solve the problems that AIDS has brought to the far reaches of this giant world. The U.S. alone pledges over $10 billion to aide groups like World Vision to try anything to get a step up on this tragic disease.

And I, The Rambler (if you will), am left with this empty feeling inside of weakness and rage. I don't frickin' understand how kids like that can live such a (I'm sorry) pointless life. They are born into starvation and disease-ridden families. They watch their siblings and parents suffer through some sort of illness, if not deal with it themselves. Then, if they are fortunate enough to make it to a child-rearing age, they themselves get to have children who are more than likely to contract the AIDS virus as well. And then they are told to have faith that a "Shepherd" is watching over them and that God protects them. And they believe. Some, at least. And that makes them much better individuals than me. . .

And maybe that's why I struggle so badly with this. I have been getting more and more upset each week at work because I am making less at the MW than I would have been at the FL, even though I was told specifically that I could potentially make TWICE as much as I made previously, but certainly more, in either case. Well for six straight weeks, I have made less. And it's not me. My stats are great and I tackle each sale with the same aggressiveness as the last. But we don't get customers. I was at work on Friday for nearly 8 hours and sold one scarf. . . That's it! So you could see my frustration. . . And of course I bitch and complain about it (more to myself than anyone else) and can't figure out how I'm going to get by with a measly $250-$300 a week. Flash over to this kid I just heard about whose entire family survives on $1 a day! Maybe I should evaluate myself before I go calling a higher power an Ass. . .

And I've thought of that, of course. Have been for some time, actually. But I'm not in a place right now to watch disasters like Hurricane Katrina and hear about children like the young girl who had to watch her mother die of AIDS and be without both parents at the age of 11 and turn and worship a gracious and loving God. Because it just doesn't seem fair. And life's not fair. I get that. But I have too much and I complain. And I don't have that much, actually. So take what you will from that. . .

So who is the "Ass of the Week" this week? I guess it's a toss-up from me and it's up to you to decide who it is for you. It could be me, in fact - an almost 21-year-old college student with a whole life ahead who wants to shake his fist at God for all the wrong in the world. It could be that God, who allows these things to happen for reasons that I'm not sure we will ever understand. Or maybe it's just the plain evil in the world, that without which we may never be able to see the infinite wonders of God and all the blessings that He delivers. . . or so I'm told.

Sorry for the downer this evening - just wanted to get some stuff off my chest. . .

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And on a completely random note:

Super Bowl prediction:

New England Patriots: 34
New York Giants: 21

. . . . . .

Enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday everyone!!!!!!

And thanks for reading as always :)

Until later,

Ass of the Week

I think what is potentially funny about this new series of posts that I'm starting today is that it could essentially be taken so many different ways. . . But since I'm not a flesh-sharing website, the true meaning of the new title is something in the vain of Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World" or ESPN Radio guys Mike and Mike and their "Just Shut Up" segment.

This is going to be a weekly post, usually on Saturdays (as it is the end of a week) that will feature someone in the news who was, for lack of a better term (as of now. . . I'm still working on a potential change to the title) an ass. I think the term works better with out the hole on it, and that's just my opinion, but go with it for me won't you?!?!

And for the first ever version of the Ass of the Week, I went no further than to a place that has had its fair share of nominees for awards o so similar to this one:

Fox News.

As you heard, I'm sure, this week was saddened by the loss of 28-year-old actor Heath Ledger to what appears to be an accidental overdose. The shocking news was presented in a respectful manner by almost everyone out there in the news world. Except, that is, for John Gibson. On his radio show, just hours after the news of Ledger's passing came across the wire, Gibson began making jokes and cracking-not-so-wise about Ledger's role in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, among other things. Riffing off of the movies' line (said about Ledger's character and not by him) "I wish I knew how to quit you" Gibson countered "Well, he found out how to quit you." Further mocking the young actor, he even called him a "weirdo with a serious drug problem" and went on to say the following, which is up there on the list of worst things to possibly say:

“Apparently Heath Ledger was suicidal and his friends saw it coming. I think he watched the Clinton-Obama debate last night. I think he was an Edwards guy, cause he saw his Edwards guy was completely irreverent.”

I understand that he was making jokes - I get that. But really, is this the best time (not that there is a good time) to be making SUICIDE JOKES! Running quotes from Ledger movies that have the word "dead" in them and running an intro to his show with funeral music and repeating the "We're dead" line like it was a sports score or weather or traffic update.

Gibson later apologized, but it was one of those half-assed attempts. You know the ones where they say, "sorry that some took my comments as anti-gay and insensitive." Well, I'm not really concerned about whether or not he used this as a platform to preach anti-gay messages (which, don't get me started on that - until we discover that gay people are in fact, not people at all or are all child rapists, then I think we should lay off of them, huh?) but I'm more about the whole "insensitive" part.

You see, Mr. Gibson, the reason some people took your comments to be insensitive was because they flat out were such. You ever heard that saying "Don't speak ill of the dead." - - yeah, that means you too! And if this was any other 28-year-old who accidentally overdosed then I would still have a problem with it. This man is no longer with us. His ex-fiancee' Michelle Williams and his two-year-old daughter, along with his family, are going through their mourning processes, but he also has fans who cared about whether or not this man lived or died. So the least you can do is respect not only him, but those who actually do respect other people, even if they did play a gay cowboy in a movie once.

So congratulations John Gibson! You are the first ever A RAMBLER'S RAMBLING, "Ass of the Week"!!!





Take a bow, sir. And don't let the collective boot up your ass get ya on the way out.